My Beautiful Big Sister, Anne-Marie Blancard My sister Anne-Marie: sky blue-eyes, brown hair, born June 25th, 1962 to Brenda and Joseph Blancard in Vancouver BC. On Anne-Marie’s very first birthday she got a squawky little sister named Micheline for a birthday present. Anne-Marie grew into a beautiful, lively and determined little toddler. Sadly, we two little girls and our mom cowered under a constant reign of fear and abuse at the hand of our dad. Twice, we made extended trips without our dad to our mum’s childhood home in England. She and I thrived on the freedom and adventure of living in that row house at 22 Guy Road. We played in nearby Beddington Park together, in a setting straight out of Winnie-the-Pooh, complete with a little bridge and a stream running under it. To top it off, there was the pond with rowboats, ducks to feed bread crusts to and delicious ice-cream. Grandma was energetic, made amazing food and loved to laugh. We played in Grandma’s garden together and learned how to play a card game called “snap”. Anne-Marie loved to get up to tricks and derived much pleasure poking fun at our serious Grandpa. She successfully got him to break into smiles…quite an accomplishment! One of the best memories was going to a place called Brighton and playing at the rocky English seaside with our mum, and grandma and grandpa. If only we could have stayed in England…but we were eventually forced to return to Canada to face up to the challenges of a now single-parent home. Due to a court ruling in our dad’s favour, Anne-Marie and I were required to visit him all by ourselves. It was a confusing and fearful time. Uncle Ted and Auntie Muriel occasionally helped our working mum with childcare which meant we got to stay overnight at their house in West Vancouver. They were so kind to us and hanging out with our older cousin Denise was a real treat. Anne-Marie and I were excited to watch the Walt Disney Hour, play games like Tiddly Winks, and especially loved our trips to the Blue Bird Candy Shop and Ambleside Beach. Around this time my dad threatened to kill Uncle Ted with a gun. It seemed the whole neighbourhood was in an uproar and we were all petrified! The silver lining to this was that we were no longer ordered by the courts to visit him. Becoming concerned about Anne-Marie’s development, Mum eventually decided to take Anne-Marie to Sunny Hill Hospital for tests. Anne-Marie was still trying hard at school, but was struggling mightily. She was, however, very artistic and could make amazing quick sketches of animals and people, capturing their essence on paper. She was also very musical and could play the piano by ear. She absolutely loved the popular music of the day, such as the song Sugar, Sugar by the Archies and she would play that little 45 over and over again and would commonly invite all the neighbourhood young people in to share her music while our mum was at work. Anne-Marie was very active and physically fit at this time, but unfortunately, the intense fear of our dad loomed over us. We were always afraid he might find out where we were living and sure enough he would eventually turn up - banging on our apartment door and demanding to be allowed to see us. She and I would run and lock ourselves in the bathroom together. Eventually our little family moved into a townhouse on 49th avenue in Vancouver. Anne-Marie made friends easily and a group of them attended the neighbourhood gospel hall, bringing Anne-Marie along. It was here that she first learned about Jesus who loved her so much he died to save her, and that He even rose from the dead and was making her a special home in heaven. She readily committed her life to Him and though maybe not always apparent to others, God strengthened and comforted her in the dark valleys of her life. She wanted to share the good news with everyone, including me. It was through our involvement at that gospel hall that we both memorized John 14:1-6, a passage that brought unending comfort to both Anne-Marie and I, and even our mum, during the last days of her life. During her teen years, Anne-Marie attended Killarney high school in Vancouver but soon had to quit school altogether. Once while playing with her friends in Central Park, my sister discovered a dead body of a man who had committed suicide with a gun. It just didn’t seem like it could be real. A few years later, Anne-Marie was diagnosed with advanced cancer and underwent major chest surgery and chemotherapy. Eventually she recovered. About a year later, she had a healthy little baby boy. Oh how hard it was for her to give him up – Anne-Marie always loved and prayed for this precious little boy. Serious mental illness continued to plague her. She got married and moved to Merritt, but her husband became violent and Anne-Marie ended up hurt and in need in Kamloops. At this time, a door opened for Anne-Marie to come into a family care situation with Corinne Henry. This was the beginning of a more than 20 year relationship that was the answer to our prayers for a good home for Anne-Marie. Corinne went above and beyond in so many ways to provide for my sister’s needs. Anne-Marie had a great fondness for Corinne and often told me how wonderful she was, not to mention the rest of the family and the dogs. Anne-Marie tried hard to keep her place with Corinne and was motivated to make positive adjustments to her behaviour. Corinne grew to love Anne-Marie and regarded her as a family member. During this time Anne-Marie also enjoyed coming down to Abbotsford on holidays and birthdays to stay with our mum and visit with her nieces and nephews. In 2007 our dad passed away and Anne-Marie attended the service with many of our dad’s relatives. Among the crowd was her son, Sean, and Anne-Marie was able to greet him, a joyful moment indeed. Soon Anne-Marie met the love of her life, David Noer. He was the perfect companion for her: a calm presence in the storms of her frequent panic attacks and other difficulties. A gentle, kind individual - he loved her deeply, and he gave her a special ring which she treasured. She wanted to marry David and live with him. That was not to be, although their love continued to grow for one another and they spent a lot of time together. At this time, Anne-Marie’s life was going quite well. She volunteered at the Kamloops Food bank and had good relationships with the other workers. Going out in the community to meet with friends was something she also enjoyed. She desired get in physically fit, to learn from others, and absolutely never gave up the hope that one day she would be able to live in her own place. Anne-Marie was learning to cook meals under Corinne’s supervision with her goal of living independently in mind. The closing chapter When our mum suddenly passed away in 2011 Anne-Marie grieved deeply for her. Too soon, in 2013 Anne-Marie got the shocking news that David had passed away in his sleep because of a stroke. How would she deal with this? Again, she showed amazing strength and even spoke beautifully at his memorial service. Many were touched by her words of devotion to her dearest friend. Her heart was utterly broken, but in spite of these tremendous losses, she found the courage to continue. She even showed love and concern for me and stated that “it’s just us two now” and took her role as big sister much more seriously. She talked less about herself and asked how I was doing and shared that she was praying for me and my family, a gift I’ll always be thankful for. Every phone call ended with “I love you”. I was able to make a couple of trips up to see her in Kamloops and we had some of the best visits together. After David’s death, Anne-Marie quit her lifelong habit of smoking – but sadly there had been too much damage done already by the combined assault of cigarettes and the strong mood stabilizing medications. She had some serious episodes of breathing difficulties and her kidneys were failing which led to the difficult transition out of Corinne’s care, into Garden Manor that was staffed 24/7 with nurses. Anne-Marie took this change with grace and in the care of the staff, Cindy, David, Carole and Jackie, she recuperated a bit and had many content months, although punctuated by frequent moments of deep sadness. Anne-Marie still enjoyed having a laugh though and knew how to bring a smile to the faces of those that interacted with her. Corinne remained a great friend and kept in close contact and took Anne-Marie on occasional outings for meals. I went up to see my sister to celebrate our last shared birthday together last June in Kamloops. Since losing our mum and David, Anne-Marie experienced vivid dreams about heaven and these were a source of comfort for her. I believe the Lord gave her those dreams to prepare her for what was coming next and to sustain her in these lonely days of missing her loved ones. On January 10th Anne-Marie was admitted to the hospital and was being treated for pneumonia. She seemed stable although had no strength in her legs, according to the hospital nurse on duty on January 11th. On January 12th Cindy from Garden Manor visited Anne-Marie and thought she seemed stable, but something under the radar was happening, leading to her condition becoming dangerously weak. Two days later, on the afternoon of January 14th, Corinne was going about her day and out of the blue, suddenly thought she should check to see how Anne-Marie was doing. Corinne called Garden Manor but the staff could not give any information. She guessed that Anne-Marie might be at the hospital and went to look for her. In the early evening, Corinne located my sister in the hospital and was shocked and saddened to see Anne-Marie looking extremely unwell and delirious. She was so weak she couldn’t even hold up a cup or feed herself. Corinne stayed quite a while to comfort my sister and reminded her about all the people who love her. Anne-Marie was feeling agitated and her chest was extremely uncomfortable. Another x-ray was done, and the results were inconclusive so no changes were made to her treatment. Eventually Corinne had to go home and leave Anne-Marie in the care of the nurses. There was still no clear reason to believe she was in imminent danger, however, at approximately 9:45 pm, while the nurse was occupied with other tasks, my sister stopped breathing. A code blue was called, and although the hospital emergency doctors tried their best, she could not be revived. Corinne believed that it was divine inspiration that led her to the hospital that night to comfort my sister and she feels so good about spending that time with Anne-Marie. I am thankful God provided for my sister through Corinne’s presence at her bedside. It is understandable that one might view my sister’s life as little more than a series of tragedies, but in truth her life was one of grace and love in the face of unusually severe trials. She demonstrated how to love and even to have a sense of humour in the midst of the worst stuff this broken world could throw at her. She clung to God and the hope of heaven. Thanks for setting such a good example for me, Anne-Marie! I look forward to seeing you again in perfect health in a place better than any of us could ever imagine. What is that going to be like? Special bible verses that God brought to my attention this past week: Romans 8:38-39English Standard Version (ESV) 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. 1 Samuel 16:7English Standard Version (ESV) 7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” John 14 King James Version (KJV) 14 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.5 Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way?6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.